Unexpected Results
by BithaBlu
Summary: Brandi has another homework assignment that requires Mary's help. Questions are asked and food is consumed at an incredible rate. Mary drags Marshall along in chapter two since he knows her better than she knows herself.
1. Green

This one has been up on the Mary_Marshall comm for awhile but I figured I'd post over here for kicks. As far as timeline goes, it's post-Duplicate Bridge/Pre-Ponzi. Essentially, I wanted to write a piece where Brandi asks a lot of awkward questions and Mary eats. Plus- Brandi still owes Mary breakfast for those ribs from Duplicate Bridge.

I know Mary's a little OOC for this but roll with it anyways.

Blah Blah Blah Disclaimer Yadda Yadda Blah.

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**Chapter One**

Brandi stared in shock as Mary walked back to their booth carefully balancing three heaping plates and a coffee cup. She glanced down at her own single plate with a few strips of bacon, some eggs and fruit. Looking back at her sister strolling through the tables like she owned the place, Brandi wondered how the hell Mary could eat that much food without exploding.

"Jesus Mary, it's a buffet." Brandi blurted out as Mary set down her plates. "You can just go back later and get more."

Mary shrugged as she flopped down into the booth, "I don't want to have to get up again and I only have an hour before I have to get to work. Plus, when do you treat me to breakfast out of the goodness of your own heart, Squish? I have to take advantage of it."

"Well…" Brandi stretched out the word while she bit the corner of her lip and tried to think of a good way to tell Mary she had asked her there for a reason.

Mary glanced up from the spread of food in front of her to see her little sister studying the ceiling tiles. She recognized that expression and sighed, "Oh god, what did you do now Brandi?"

"I've got another paper," Brandi whined, "And I can't get your answers from Marshall this time. They have to come from you." When Mary just looked blankly at her and didn't say anything, Brandi took that as acceptance and filled her in on the assignment, "My professor has this thing about introspective papers or something. This time we had to pick someone we know that we admire and fill out a questionnaire thing with how we'd think they'd answer. Now we have to get the person to actually answer the questions and write about the differences between our answers and their answers and how that changes our perspective on that person."

Toying with her coffee, Mary pursed her lips and stared at her food. Apparently, free food did come with a cost and she debated whether it was worth it. A waft of maple syrup and hickory smoked bacon decided it for her. Sighing heavily, she reached for her fork and said, "Fine. But I can't answer a lot of questions about my job."

Brandi beamed as she reached into her purse to grab the packet of papers. "Thanks Mary. This shouldn't take long and I won't put anything in the paper that you don't want me to."

Mary didn't want anything about her life in the paper but she just whirled her fork impatiently before stabbing a chunk of scrambled eggs, "Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

Sitting up straight and bubbling with eagerness, Brandi pushed her plate aside and started, "Question one: What is your favorite color?"

"Green," Mary shoveled another forkload of eggs into her mouth and asked, "Are you sure Marshall can't do this for me?"

Brandi wrote Mary's answer down in very precise handwriting and smiled widely at her sister, "Nope. The first few questions are easy so we can see how well we know or don't know our subjects."

"I still think Marshall could answer for me."

Ignoring Mary's apathy Brandi continued, "Question two: What is your favorite dessert?"

"Pie."

Brandi laughed, "Well, I knew it wasn't going to be cupcakes but I didn't think you liked pie."

Mary glared at her little sister and ignored any innuendo that Brandi may have intended, "Can we just get to the important questions?"

"Fine," Brandi sighed and grabbed some bacon before continuing, "Question three: What are the three worst moments of your life?"

The fork loaded with a chunk of waffle paused in mid-air for a moment before Mary shoved it into her mouth. She chewed slowly as though she were procrastinating before she answered in a hurried tone, "Dad leaving, getting kidnapped, and Marshall getting shot."

"Um, ok. I know about the first two but how exactly did Marshall get shot?" Brandi set down her pencil and looked inquisitively at her sister. Mary stilled and Brandi wondered if she was going to answer. For a second it seemed like Mary was going to just jump up and leave but finally she spoke.

"We were transporting some jackass across state lines and some friends we didn't know he had caught up to us. They messed with our car when we were at some gas station and when the radiator crapped out a few miles down the road they took a few shots at us. Marshall took one to the chest…" Mary paused and looked around the room as though she were trying to find an escape from the memory. She seemed so sad and lost that Brandi didn't really want to keep going. For the first time in a long time, Brandi just wanted to give her sister a hug.

Surprising both of them, Mary continued, "We holed up in some abandoned gas station- hoping for backup or a miracle- and he was joking around. We had been seriously fighting that morning and he had a sucking chest wound but he was still cracking jokes. I think he was trying to make me feel better or something. At one point, I had to stick a tube in the wound and make a water seal. He passed out in the middle of talking me through it and I… I didn't know what to do. I gave him CPR and he came around and finished explaining. We were stuck in that gas station for hours and I thought he was going to die. I ended up trading that piece of shit Horst for the car so I could get Marshall to the hospital. I almost lost him…"

"Damn Mary, I'm sorry." Brandi murmured. "I didn't realize that your job was so dangerous."

Mary squinted at Brandi as though she were an insane person babbling about hobos on the moon. After a few seconds of blinking furiously she asked, "What the hell do you think I do all day?"

Brandi shrugged, "I don't know. Paperwork? Arresting people? Basic cop stuff?"

Sighing, Mary shook her head and stabbed at her waffle. She glared at her phone when it told her that it had only been ten minutes. Brandi had only three questions and she was already ready to leave.

Realizing that Mary was plotting an escape route, Brandi scanned her questions for one that wasn't so depressing. "Ooh- here's one," she said, "Who would you want to be stranded on a deserted island with?"

"Marshall," Mary said instantly as she reached for some sausage pastry concoction.

Brandi's nose wrinkled up in surprise. "Really? I kinda figured you'd want Chico with you. Hot sun, sandy beaches, sexy man- those three things totally go together."

Mary snorted, "I'd end up sand in uncomfortable places if Raph was with me and there's nothing sexy about scratching sand out of your crack." She paused as she took another bite, "No, I'd want Marshall there so he could find edible food and make a radio out of a coconut so we could get home."

Brandi laughed. Most people would want to escape to a deserted island but Mary would have to escape from it. She probably would go nuts from being stuck somewhere with nothing to do but relax. "Ok- next question: Is there anyone you would kill for?"

Nearly choking on her coffee, Mary coughed. "Kill for or die for?"

"Is there that much of a difference," asked Brandi as she cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Oh yeah," Mary said as she popped a grape in her mouth. "Deciding to kill someone is hard but you just have to weigh the pros and cons to figure out what to do. Do you shoot a perp if it'll save hostages? Hell yeah. Do you put down some fuckwad if he has a bead on your partner? No doubt. But do you kill someone who just broke into your house?" Mary shrugged, "I personally would just try to wound and disarm. But I've killed in self defense and I've killed because my job required it. I had to shoot someone to save a bunch of strangers and I was willing to shoot it out with four assholes in the desert to save Marshall. It's a hard thing to live with but if the end result is getting to live- then that's what matters."

Pausing, Mary stared into her cup of coffee as though it were some mystical fountain of truth. The next part required some thought and discretion. "Dying for someone means you're willing to give up everything for that person. You have to decide that the other person is more important than yourself. On more than one occasion, my job has demanded that I be willing to sacrifice myself to save someone else- someone I didn't even know- because saving that person was more crucial than saving myself."

"Jesus," Brandi breathed, "How the hell do keep working knowing that it might kill you?"

"It's my job. It's what I do. And it won't just 'might kill' me- it probably _will_ kill me."

Brandi's mouth gaped open at her sister's sheer lack of self preservation. That Mary would be willing to die- _die_- for strangers was mind blowing. There wasn't anyone that Brandi thought she would die for but here her sister was able to talk about it so casually… it was insane.

"I suppose if I had to pick," Mary continued, "I'd have to say you, Marshall, and Jinx. Raph, too, but I can't see him getting into any trouble like that. And, hell, I'd probably take a bullet or two for Stan."

Brandi twirled a strand of hair as she tried to process what Mary had said. Homework momentarily forgotten, her curiosity got the better of her and she asked, "Have you ever… you know, been ready to die for someone?"

Mary ripped open a muffin and nodded, "Yeah. It's not like I wanted to die but there were a few times when I knew it was a possibility. I can't really talk about most of them though."

"What can you tell me about?"

"Well," Mary chewed on her lower lip for a second as she thought about it, "Since I've already told you parts of it, I'll just use the desert thing again. Those four assholes in the desert that I was willing to kill- I knew I was probably going to die if I opened fire but Marshall was dying and I was willing to take the risk if it meant saving him. Luckily I thought of something else but if I hadn't… I would have tried to shoot our way out even if it meant that I would have died."

Brandi hesitated, torn between wanting to know and blissful ignorance, before asking, "Is there any other time you can tell me about?"

Mary stared at her for a second before dropping her eyes to her half empty plates. In a quiet voice she said, "I never told Spanky I wasn't you."

Tears welled up in Brandi's eyes. Her heart felt like it skipped a beat and, for a second, it was hard to breath. She opened her mouth to say something- anything- but Mary interrupted her before she could say a word, "So, Squish, I've only got time for one more question right now. What's it going to be?"

Brandi stared at her sheet of questions and randomly picked one, "Um, what are five things you have to have with you every day?"

Mary smiled smugly, "That one is easy. My badge, my guns, my phone, my keys and my sunglasses." Tossing back the last of her coffee, Mary grabbed muffin and stood up, "Thanks for breakfast, Squish, and I promise we can try to finish the rest of this up after work."

"Yeah. Thanks for doing this," Brandi said. Since the offer of free food had worked once already today, she added, "I'll cook something for dinner tonight. And you should bring Marshall too so he can answer the easy questions for you."

Mary grinned, turned and strode out of the restaurant. Brandi watched as people just about dived to get out of her sister's way. Smirking to herself, Brandi grabbed her pencil and started jotting down notes for her paper. Ten pages didn't seem like that much anymore. The assignment could have called for a hundred pages and Brandi didn't think she'd have a problem writing it now. Apparently, there was so much more to Mary than Brandi had ever thought possible. If only six questions had revealed this much, what was she going to figure out with the other fourteen?


	2. Tenacity

Here's part two of... I don't know- four maybe? Possibly three. I have no control over it. Fic- it does what it wants.

Thank Pip for making me write _something. _Unless you don't like it- then blame me. I'm just going to blame Pip and then she'll blame Anna. It's a vicious cycle but it ends in fic so it's all good.

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**Chapter Two**

"Remind me again," Marshall drawled as he and Mary walked to her front door, "Why am I here? I thought this assignment was for you and Brandi."

"Because Doofus," Mary replied, punching his arm, "I need you to answer the questions I can't. Plus- free food and beer. Why are you complaining?"

Ignoring the slight sting on his bicep, Marshall smirked, "So you're saying I know you better than you know yourself?"

Mary made a rude noise as she opened the door but any comment she was going to make flew out of her head as she caught a whiff of something delicious. '_Is that chicken_,' she wondered as her eyes widened, '_And garlic and cheese and yum?_'

She darted into the kitchen to find Brandi standing in front of a table full of food. Mary rubbed her eyes in disbelief as Marshall shut the door behind them. "Holy shit, Brandi, what did you do? Rob the grocery store?"

Brandi grinned as she walked around the table to block Mary from the food, "Nope! I went on-line and looked up some recipes so I could use up some of the stuff you had in the cupboard. I did do some shopping but most of this is just the stuff you had stocked away."

Mary reached for a garlic roll but Brandi blocked her with a whack of a spatula. "Nuh-uh. You have to answer two questions first and then we eat."

Marshall hung back and tried to keep from laughing out loud. Knowing full well that another punch was immanent if Mary caught him laughing at her, he tried to stifle it but Mary whirled around and glared at him. He gave her an innocent smile and braced for impact. Instead of hitting him in her usual affectionate way, she just stomped off towards her room with a quick "Answer two questions so we can eat, Marshall" tossed over her shoulder.

Throwing off her jacket as soon as she closed her bedroom door, Mary hunted through the pile of clothes for something clean. Some syrup had dripped onto her shirt sometime during breakfast and Mary was sick of smelling like pancakes. She changed quickly and got back to the kitchen in time to hear Brandi say, "Ok, so that's her favorite song and least favorite song. What's Mary's favorite way to relax?"

Simultaneously, Marshall and Mary answered, "Pajamas, pizza, and beer."

Brandi blinked at the surround sound answer. Her jaw dropped slightly and she cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy. As Mary started loading up a plate, Marshall took pity on Brandi's confusion and explained.

"Whenever we get back from a long and obnoxious road trip," he began as stole a roll from Mary's plate, "we usually just crash at my place. Mary keeps a pair of pajamas in my guest room and we just crash out on the couch with some pizza and beer. Then we just hang out and mock horrible movies or laugh at episodes of CSI."

Brandi scrunched up her nose in surprise, "I thought Mary would be more of a long bath and a glass of wine kind of person."

Mary almost choked on the chunk of a pasta concoction at the thought of trying to relax in the tub with Jinx and Brandi knocking on the door every five minutes to check on their hair or whatever. With no privacy in her own house, it was no surprise that Marshall's place was her refuge.

"Ok, next question!," Brandi chirped. Scanning through her list, she found a question she had been stumped by when she had filled it out the first time. She didn't think Mary would have an answer either but Brandi was curious to see what Marshall would say. "Who can't you live without?"

Marshall blinked rapidly and looked at Mary stumped, "I don't think there _is_ anyone. Mary can survive anything."

"I know!" Brandi exclaimed. Bouncing in her chair, she blurted out, "I mean, she'd miss us if something happened but, if anyone could get through anything, it's be her, right?"

"Huh?" Mary looked up from her plate to grab some more of the ham and green leaf pastry things. '_Jesus_,' Mary thought, '_Brandi went all out on this_.' Tossing one of the pastry things in her mouth, she saw Brandi looking at her expectantly. "What?"

"Who can't you live without?"

Mary's head tilted and she stared off as she took a moment from eating to answer, "Marshall. Next question and pass the rolls again."

Before Mary's fork could make a return trip to her mouth, a hand darted out and grabbed her wrist. Wide eyed, Mary looked over to the capricious culprit who dared to interrupt her dinner. The long fingers let go quickly but Mary looked up to see if Marshall had actually gone insane enough to try to stop her from eating- if only for a second.

"I think you need to explain that," Marshall said evenly. Mary set down her fork and stared at him until he added, "Brandi went through all this work and I think the food is good enough to deserve better answers."

"Fine," Mary huffed out in annoyance. The answer was obvious but if Brandi needed it drawn out in crayon… Mary stifled her exasperation and answered as simply as she could. "You guys know I have a hard time keeping my temper in check. Hell- I'd probably get into a shoot-out with the guy in the coffee shop who can't make my cappuccinos right if Marshall weren't there. He deals with the stupid people so I don't have to and that probably keeps a lot of people breathing- including me."

Out of the corner of her eye, Mary saw Marshall staring at her. It wasn't like he didn't _know_ that already so why the hell was he looking at her like she had sprouted a third boob?

"Ok…" Brandi took a second to take a bite of salad before saying, "Umm- next question. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Swallowing the latest fork-load of pasta goodness, Mary shrugged, "I'll probably be doing the same thing I am now. I love my job despite all the headaches and I've got a few decades of mortgage to deal with so I'll still be living here."

"What if you get a promotion or whatever?"

Mary and Marshall burst out laughing at Brandi's question. She joined in laughing with them despite not understanding exactly how funny her question was to them.

"Ok, so a promotion is a no-go but what about a transfer? I mean, they transferred you here- couldn't they just send you somewhere else?" Brandi eyed her sister curiously when the laughter ended abruptly.

"They wouldn't dare." Mary sat back in the chair and crossed her arms defensively. Just the thought of having to be moved across the country again raised some serious ire in Mary. Stan wouldn't do that to her, right? There's no way he'd survive it and she knew it. Hell, if nothing else, Stan wouldn't want the risk of getting a feel of the ball-punch that had gotten Mary sent to Albuquerque in the first place. Mary was so caught up in her dark thoughts of what she'd do if she got transferred again that it took a shoulder bump from Marshall to bring her back to the here and now.

"There are three reasons why Mary will never get transferred," Marshall said practically. "One- the rest of the marshal service is afraid of her. Two- she's too good at her job for Stan to send her somewhere else. There's no way he'd be able to find someone to do her job half as well as she does so he'll just put up with her…" Marshall paused and glanced over his partner, "attitude."

"What's the third reason?" Brandi had her chin propped up on her fists in a gesture that Marshall found so familiar.

"The, uh, third reason would be that Mary probably wouldn't accept another partner so I'd have to get transferred right along with her. Since I'm a better than Mary, there's no way Stan would let me go so the two of us won't ever be transferred." Marshall grinned widely at Mary. Expecting a punch, he was pleasantly surprised when she just shoulder bumped him back and smirked.

"You're not better than me, jackass," Mary said as she loaded up her plate for round two. Looking up from the pile of food that she knew she was going to pay for later '_But it's too damn tasty to pass up'_, she turned her attention back to Brandi. "What's next on the list?"

"Well, I know the answer to this question but I'm gonna ask anyways. What's more important- your job or your family?"

"Family," Marshall answered without hesitation. Both the Shannon sisters stared at him and he shrugged. "What? The job is more important most of the time but when it comes down to it, Mary'll risk it all for you, Brandi. She did it before."

Mary bit her lip and thought about it. "Yeah- put down Marshall's answer. It makes me sound nicer."

Brandi giggled. She didn't know if it was funnier that Marshall knew Mary better than she knew herself or that Mary wanted the 'nicer' answer down. Taking a bite of the tetrazinni that she had worked so hard on, Brandi checked her list again to see which questions were left. When she glanced up at the table, she noticed that most of the food was gone and decided to combine two of the questions to speed things up. "What are your best and worst attributes?"

"Oh hell." The words fell from Mary's lips and she whirled in her chair to look at Marshall dead on. With a stern frown, she admonished, "Brief, Marshall. Be brief."

Sighing, Marshall leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. He took a moment to quietly contemplate on how to best answer the question without getting shot. When Mary began drumming her fingers on the table impatiently Marshall took the hint and answered with, "I would have to say that Mary's best and worst quality are one and the same. She is, by far, the most tenacious person I have ever met and that intensity, like the force, can be used for good or evil. When Mary's at her best, it's that persistence that drives her to do great things. And at her worst… well, you know her. She's as stubborn as junkyard dog with a bone. Mary will rip and tear her way through whatever stands in her way and she will not stop until she gets what she wants."

"Wow," Brandi breathed out as she stared unabashedly at the man across the table from her. '_Why does Mary bitch that he talks too much_,' Brandi wondered, '_I don't know what the hell he meant but it's, like, hypnotic or something._' Blinking rapidly, she tried to break whatever spell Marshall's speech had on her but it was only when Mary spoke that Brandi could focus again.

"Jesus, Marshall. I said brief."

*~*~*


End file.
